Better Life

Learn To Love Growth And Change And You Will Be A Success

2006-04-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

by: Edward W. Smith

Do you want to be even more successful? Learn to love learning and growth. The more effort you put into improving your skills, the bigger the payoff you will get. Realize that things will be hard at first, but the rewards will be worth it.

Many of us have to be reminded that almost everything worthwhile in our lives is hard at first. Learning to walk was hard at first, but gradually we learned and now it is effortless. The same holds true for our more advanced skills such as, sports, music, art, etc. We forget these past struggles to learn and take them for granted now.

When most people begin to try something for the first time, it usually doesn’t turn out particularly well. It doesn’t mean we are bad, or stupid, or anything like that, it just means that most things of any complexity take awhile to learn.

Given this, the surprising thing is how most people react when they begin to learn a new skill and it does not go well. Most people at that point feel such things as surprise, anger, frustration, and so on. We forget that the expression “beginners luck” means that doing something well at first is a fluke. We forget it isn’t supposed to be easy; it is almost against the laws of nature for something to be good at first.

So what is a more positive way to handle the difficulties we will encounter when we are learning something new? We should take the attitude that we are supposed to fail at first, that is the way the system works. We should look for a way to find fascination with the process, and build enjoyment of the ups and downs into the process. We need to recognize the difficulties we will face and build them into the time and effort we plan on expending on the project. This is one place in your life where a healthy dose of pessimism will pay off. Just planning for difficulty will take much of the negative emotions we feel in these situations away.

Lets look at another situation where we encounter difficulty at first. Almost anything involving change is very hard for us to incorporate into our lives at first. One of my favorite expressions regarding change is “the only kind of change we like, is the change in our pocket.” Making the decision to change is easy, it is just a decision. Staying changed is hard. We want to fall back to our old ways; we are discouraged, uncomfortable and so on. One again we are learning something new and it helps to build this into our plan for change.

In addition to learning to enjoy the process as above, we can add another element to help us through learning something new or the change process. We can keep reviewing the goal we are seeking, the payoff, etc. and continually tell ourselves that the pain is temporary, but the payoff is permanent. We need to take the pain and frustration and deal with it minute by minute, telling ourselves to hang on, hang on, we can make it. Life is a series of minutes we can make it through.

Many people use visualization techniques to help them learn a new skill or deal with change. They “daydream” or use guided imagery to see themselves going through the process of learning or change and attaining the goal. A person on a diet can see himself f becoming thinner and thinner, easing the pain and giving them the sense they can do it. The same with a new skill such as golf. They see themselves hitting the ball, in just the right way, and they see the golf ball going right where they want it. A word of caution regarding using visualization to learn a new skill. The technique is very, very powerful and you will tend to perform exactly like you visualized it, so if you visualize the wrong technique, chances are you will actually perform the wrong technique. So be very sure of the proper technique before you used visualization to help you master it.

One last point. I have stressed the need to recognize that new things will be hard to learn at first. While this “negative” view is helpful, it must be balanced with a positive outlook for the whole project. Plan and expect problems at first, but also plan and expect that you will eventually master the situation. Planning for a positive outcome will help give you the willpower to see the situation through and enable things that are needed to move you ahead to appear when they are needed. Remember if we expect good things, we tend to get good things.

About The Author

Edward W. Smith is the author of Sixty Seconds To Success, he produces and hosts the Bright Moment cable TV and internet radio show, is president of the Bright Moment Seminars, is a motivational speaker, and publishes the free, daily, email of the One Minute Motivator (quick peak performance tip). His website is www.brightmoment.com and his email is edsmith@brightmoment.com.

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How to Increase the Working Power of Hypnosis

2006-04-14T01:46:00.000-07:00

by: Steve G. Jones

Any hypnotherapist who is professionally trained and accredited will inform a new patient that not everyone responds to hypnosis’ power of suggestion. The truth is that some people are much more able to benefit from hypnosis than others. Some are more resistant to the idea of being completely relaxed and cannot seem to allow messages to penetrate their subconscious. Others, actually the majority of people, are open to the thought changing process of hypnosis and can benefit from its healing abilities.

In order to increase the likelihood that hypnosis will work for you, there are steps you can take to prepare yourself. It helps if you also understand that in order to be hypnotized you must be a willing participant. No one can be placed under the effects of hypnosis without wanting to be. Take these steps to increase your willingness and the effectiveness of hypnosis.

1. Make the decision. You need to decide consciously that you will give hypnosis a try. If for example, you have tried to lose weight through fad dieting or even more proven methods, but still haven’t succeeded, then you need to accept the idea that millions of people have been able to lose weight using hypnosis, and that means you can too. Having a positive attitude and open mind will also allow you to relax effectively so hypnosis can work.

2. Find a therapist you trust. Hypnosis requires a completely relaxed mental and physical state to work. You need to do some research into the credentials of the hypnotherapist in whom you are placing your trust. You can ask for references and call those clients to be sure they had a positive experience. If you are using self-hypnosis, be sure the person creating the programs is qualified to do so.

3. Continue the process on your own. Hypnotherapy sessions in an office generally run from 30-60 minutes. You can follow up on the therapy through self-hypnosis programs that compliment your objectives. These are meant to be played each night before you go to sleep.

4. Use refresher sessions. Hypnosis can work almost immediately, as in the case of quitting a smoking habit. You may find that with hypnosis you can quit “cold turkey.” However, it is not uncommon to face temptations to light up again, even if you have gone months without a craving. If this happens, revisit your hypnotherapist or restart a self-hypnosis program at home where you replay the therapeutic CD for another week.

5. Keep an open mind. Again, hypnosis is only effective if you are a willing participant. It has the power to break bad habits, motivate you for change, and build confidence. It can even heal illness, boost the immune system and give you the power to succeed.

Hypnosis is most effective when you are frequent, consistent, and confident it can work for you. Make hypnosis a habit by using self-hypnosis programs for at least 21 consecutive nights. Through this process you will develop the skills to relax and allow the message of the hypnotic script to work at modifying behaviors and achieving goals.

Copyright 2006 Steve G. Jones

About The Author

Steve G. Jones is a board certified Clinical Hypnotherapist who works extensively with Hollywood actors, writers, directors, and producers, helping them achieve their very best. Learn more about his products by visiting: http://www.betterlivingwithhypnosis.com.

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Raw Potatoes And Other Dining Adventures

2006-04-14T01:40:00.000-07:00

by: Edward Mills

I admit it: I’m a big fan of the Law of Attraction. It’s become one of the focal points of my life and of my coaching and teaching practice. However, I’ve discovered that there is one drawback to the Law of Attraction: It takes all the fun out of complaining! Once you understand the basic principles of the Law of Attraction you know that whenever you complain, you’re in the process of attracting more of exactly what you’re whimpering about.

Here’s a case in point. This past weekend, my friend and I stopped by a little diner on the way back from our hike out on the coast. I ordered a simple brunch of eggs, potatoes and a biscuit. He opted for the BLT. All was good until we began talking about a dinner we had a few weeks ago at a local restaurant.

“Can you believe their prices?” I whined.

“Nope.” He replied.

“I mean, $18.50 for a personal pizza? What are they thinking?”

“What are all the people thinking that eat there?” He said. “That’s what I want to know.”

“Yeah. I mean it’s not even outrageously great food.” I said. “Good, yeah, but not great. Not $18.50 for a pizza with no leftovers great!”

And on it went for a few minutes until I caught myself, realized what I was doing, and said, “We’re screwed Mike.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well we’re both students of the Law of Attraction and here we are moaning about all the stuff we didn’t like at that restaurant. And as we both know, that means that we’re sending out big vibrational signals to the Universe saying, ‘look, we’re saying we don’t like all this stuff we’re talking about, but really what we’re saying is that we just can’t get enough of it. So please send us more!”

“Oh man, you’re right.” He said.

So we began focusing on all the things that we liked about dining out, but, alas, it was too late. Just then, the waitress brought my plate out, and I could tell, right away, that the potatoes were undercooked. They were milky white in color, with that glean of oil that has not been cooked off. There was no sign of the crispy crunchies on the outside that I like so much. Poking my fork into one of them confirmed my worst fears. They were hard on the inside. I enjoy most of my veggies a bit undercooked, I like my broccoli to bite back a bit, but not potatoes. Crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. That’s how I like them. And these definitely were not!

My friend, who happens to be a professional chef, was somewhat less deprecating of their efforts, but nonetheless acknowledged the al denténess of the potatoes.

And guess what happened next. You guessed it. I fell right back into the complaining space.

“These potatoes aren’t done.” I whined. “I can’t believe they would send out potatoes like this. I’m going to ask her to bring out some hash browns instead.”

But the waitress never came over to ask how our meal was. Which, of course, just added to my litany of complaints. I was rolling now.

“You know Mike, this is exactly why a good manager tells the wait-staff to visit each of their tables a few minutes after they’ve gotten their food. You don’t just leave them hanging. What if something isn’t right?”

Mike just sat there, listening and enjoying his BLT with no complaints. Not really responding to me. Waiting for me to get it. Which I did, eventually.

“I’m doing it again.” I finally realized.

“Yup.” He said.

Complaining is so seductive. I think many of us grew up on a diet of complaints and worry. I know I did. It’s a familiar, comfortable space to enter. When the world around us is falling apart, and even when it’s not falling apart, complaining often seems to make everything right in the world. Or at least a bit less wrong.

Call it glass-half-empty-itis or complaints-R-us, but whatever you call it, know that even the most optimistic among us have moments when we fall into that comforting place of pointing out all the things that are not working.

How often have you engaged in “water cooler” or coffee break conversations about a bad experience you had or how someone was rude to you, or cut you off in traffic, or the “six-slice” toaster you just bought that barely fits four slices?

Every moment you spend in that space of complaining, is a moment that you are saying to the Universe, “this is what I choose to focus my attention on.” And the Universe replies by saying “well then, I guess you want more of it. Here you go!”

How do you change this pattern? Change your focus. Instead of looking for the things that are not working, things that disappoint or distress you, look for the things that are working, the things that bring you joy, the things that make you feel good.

Instead of focusing on how overpriced a restaurant is (whether or not it’s “true” in your opinion) focus on the things that you really like about your time at that restaurant. Is the food good? If not, is it edible? Is the service decent? No? How about the artwork on the wall? Interesting? Nope. Hmm. How about the ambience? Not great? Well at least you don’t have any dishes to wash when you’re done! Find something, anything about your experience that feels good, that you can focus on and enjoy.

The Law of Attraction is quite simple: you attract what you focus your attention on. Focus on what annoys you and you will get more of that. Begin to shift your attention to what you enjoy and you will begin to get more of that. It really is that simple.

About The Author

Edward Mills, MIM, is a life coach, teacher and speaker, empowering people to more joyfully and abundantly share their essential gifts with the world. You can sign up for his monthly ezine, Evolving Times, at his website: http://www.edwardmills.com or blog: http://www.evolvingtimes.com.

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Stress Relief Advice

2006-04-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

by: John Furnem

Stress is a killer, it is a known fact that stress is one of the reasons for heart attacks and many other lethal stress related disease. The bad thing about stress is that it will not only ultimately kill you, it is killing you while its doing it.

Stress makes a person narrow his perspective, feel lost, lose proportion and the sense of the real things in life, some people get into a chain reaction in which stress is just the cause of more stress, eventually leading these people to seek mental health help.

I am assuming that you are a normal (what is normal, right?) person, that does not currently have or had any kind of mental disease, that you are reading this article for one simple reason, you start to feel that stress is overcoming you, that something has changed as a result of increased stress, and you want out. You want your life back, you sense of control and to shake this feeling of urgency around each and every issue in you life.

How can I understand what you are going through? Went through? The answer is simple, I went through a severe mental breakdown as a result of continues stress. It took months for me to go down, and months for me to get back up, but once I got up (about 15 years ago) I have been studying and learning everything I can about stress, including talking to people like you. Identifying stress is the first step to fighting it, and reducing it.

When I first realized that my life seemed to have no breaks, no pause and that daily activities simply followed each other as if magically linked one to the other, driving to work connected to work, driving back home connected with the tasks I had at home (that connected with the tasks for work I left for home). There was no real joy, no fun and most importantly… no life.

No one needs to be an expert on mental health to know that he is experiencing stress, when it hits its very clear. The biggest problem is that we humans get used to it, and we learn to live with it, baring it on our heads, our shoulders, our hearts. While stress gets rooted into our bodies we become bitter, angry, impatient and generally not pleasant to be with or around. Not a big surprise ha?, of course, you can probably remember a time you knew someone that was so stress it made you feel stress, you also probably avoided seeing this person…

Assuming stress just showed up at your door a few weeks or months ago, what can you do to try and do battle with it? Is it at all possible to beat stress, and to return to a normal life, with normal stress levels that go up and down – normally (in contrast to continuously).

YOU CAN. That’s the first thing I got to say. Almost anyone can, and there is no reason you cant. What am I talking about? Beating stress. Getting your life back, enjoying and living, every single moment of every single day.

Here are a few things that helped me a lot, I know some of them sound old fashioned or simply old, but they worked for me, and they might just work for you.

Take a hobby, start something you always wanted, it can be working in the garden (amazing) or learning how to ski dive (even more amazing), working out is good, running or swimming, in fact almost any kind of regular physical activity is good. I highly recommend golf, its ability to drive your attention from everything else and make you focus on a small white ball for a few hours, with spending a (relatively) long time out doors, is great. If you carry your golf bag and walk the course (walk not slowly wander around) you will also get into shape.

Physical exercise – once a day, for 20 to 45 min, do something, in the house out of the house, doesn’t matter, just do something. Yoga is great, because almost everyone can practice it, and eventually you will perform the positions in synchronization with your breathing, which is almost the best way to relax and regulate your breath.

Relax – take a break. Do I need to explain? Just take a break, if it’s a short break you can use it to relax, close your eyes and imagine a nice place you can spend a few imaginary moments at, if you are not good at imagining things, try and meditate for a few minutes, clear your mind of thought and try to get your subconscious to shut up.

Deal with problems and break them into smaller pieces – just like cleaning a big room, break your problems into smaller problems and decide which ones you do not want to deal with right now and which are the ones you are going to solve, do not leave the other problems for an unknown date to be solved – commit yourself to a time and day you will address these other issues.

I wish you all the best, and good luck in beating stress and starting gaining control over your life. When you get into these stressful moods again, try and think of how an nervous, stressed person looks like, and what is his chances of solving his problems, take a long breath, and plan your victory.

About The Author

John Furnem is a dot com veteran, specializing in human resources and work psychology he has written articles and held workshops/seminars for stress relief and stress management. John currently writes articles for http://stressrelief.zupatips.com/.

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Make Your Relationship New Again

2006-04-14T01:00:00.004-07:00

by: Richard Keir

Relationships are generally seen as our main source of support, love, self esteem, enthusiasm and pleasure. Naturally there are differences of degree and type when we look at our relationships with friends, coworkers and acquaintances versus family members or someone we are intimately involved with in a love relationship. Many seek a permanent love relationship which they'd like to last throughout their life. In theory then, we should be exerting every effort in order to nurture and to perfect those relationships.

Do we? Not usually. We may dream of the perfect relationship but actually putting in the time and effort seems beyond us as we struggle with all the details of day to day existence.

Our relationships, then, often become sources of distress, anxiety and feelings of failure when they fail to meet our needs and expectations. Potentially even more damaging, they can become a source of a deep inner rage that can poison one's life. These are some of the dimensions of relationship problems. Certainly having a problem with a relationship isn't going to doom it to failure - every relationship has its problems. We are each individual and our needs and desires vary and are sometimes in conflict.

How we deal with these inevitable problems, the effort we put in to resolve them and to allow space for our differences can determine whether a relationship succeeds or withers in misery and failure.

Would you expect to become a great athlete without work? Learning how to have, nurture and protect a love relationship is work. Unfortunately we were not born knowing how to do it and often our early experiences were less than helpful in shaping our abilities to relate. The statistics on divorce are disheartening.

To succeed in any relationship, we must make an effort to keep things intact. Taking our partner for granted, failing to see our partner as a unique and special individual is the beginning of the end. Merely hoping that things will be good is nonsense. What you do day by day to support, encourage and enrich your partner will help a relationship grow.

Too many people simply go from one "relationship" to another seeking some perfect automatic solution that simply doesn't exist. We all know the excitement of a new love, the craziness and the powerful emotions of falling in love. Some become addicted to that newness and confuse it with being in love. They expect those feelings to endure and when those feelings fade, they seek to recapture them. But the only way to truly do that is in a new relationship.

We do not see clearly, we do not know our partner as we are falling in love, To build a relationship that will last over time, the couple must move beyond falling in love toward being in love. This is a much more conscious process and requires some work and understanding. It requires an ability to share and to recognize the unique value of the other person. It requires building experiences and feelings and activities in common. All of this takes time and as time passes, we have a tendency to start taking our partner and our relationship for granted. Our responses become automatic. We hardly even see the other person any more. We have reduced everything to a dull habit.

And that is a major relationship killer. The same way you can drive a familiar route without even consciously seeing the street, the other cars, or the people on the sidewalks, your relationship turns invisible.

There's no way a short article like this can cover every aspect of building a successful relationship. Nor can it describe every problem. After all, every one of you is a unique person and your relationships all have their own unique qualities. What I want to stress is that letting your relationship turn into a routine, letting it become a habit is one of the very worst things you can do.

Look for opportunities to do new things together, explore each other's ideas and beliefs. Take your partner seriously and pay attention to everything. Force yourself to see, really see, your partner again. Regain a sense of play, fool around with each other again. Flirt and tease. Does it sound absurd? It might, but if you want a love relationship that lasts, you must make the effort. Starting right now.

Copyright 2006 Richard Keir

About The Author

Richard Keir writes from the perspective of both a background in clinical psychology and both good and bad experiences with relationships. Relationships have always been one of his primary interests. Visit Sten's About Dating Online at http://AboutDatingOnline.com for relationship and online dating information and articles.

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Stop Giving Yourself Permission To Fail

2006-04-14T01:00:00.003-07:00

by: Christopher Green

It’s a powerful statement isn’t it? Because who on earth would ever give themselves permission to fail? But, and I say this without any fear of contradiction, most people I meet give themselves permission to fail time and time again.

The problem is that the permission is given without even realizing it. I’m going to give a couple of examples of this so you can be aware of it and so you can stop doing it.

1. An acquaintance of mine is a perfect example of the first type. Anthony talks the talk, sure, but never manages to walk the walk. Recently, his wife spent $1000 on a saxophone for a birthday present because he was telling all and sundry how determined he was to learn. 6 months on, I asked him how he was getting on with it: “Oh, I’ve not started yet.”

“How come?” says I.

“Well, I’ve had so much to do, I’ve just been too busy with everything.”

Having played guitar for 20 years, I thought I’d challenge this. He became angry and aggressive, determined to demonstrate that learning was beyond his power as other matters demanded his time. Seeing how animated he was becoming, I didn’t mention other matters such as: drinking every night of the week during summer; his absolutely huge DVD collection and how much time he spends watching them; and how on Sundays he does absolutely nothing other than eat a huge lunch and sleep most of the afternoon – before going out for a couple of drinks in the evening of course.

He gives himself permission to fail because he’s frightened to take action and put in the effort to learn. He then clings to the “I’m too busy” excuse. Please be aware of how much time you spend on pastimes that won’t deliver any rewards at all. TV, socializing, lazy days – they will rob your dreams from you if you over-indulge them. Value time – it is a very precious resource.

2. Another common way to permit failure is to ask others what they think of your ideas and plans. Now, this is an absolute beauty. Because most people don’t consult with people who’ve done something with their lives. Instead, they consult with people who haven’t done anything. They get negative feedback, their plans are dismissed as “pie in the sky”, or the classic “if it was good everyone would do it” and plans are abandoned on the advice of others. It absolves you of any responsibility: “I’d have tried but others cautioned me against it” so you can feel nice and warm and continue as before safe in the knowledge that it isn’t your fault. Wrong. It is. You give yourself permission to fail because you allow people who don’t know any better to influence you. If you want advice about your plans and ideas, consult with people who have done something. Asking advice from people who have never overcome their fears and took a risk is like asking a computer programmer to fine-tune an engine instead of asking a qualified engineer.

3. Finally, and one of the most common: Giving yourself permission to fail because you have a family. I’ve lost count of the number of times someone has said to me: “I’d love to (move abroad, start a business, pursue an alternative lifestyle – whatever) but I have a family to think of so it’s out of the question now”. Honestly, I hear this from friends and acquaintances, from clients who email me, and I see it on countless forums that I frequent. Is it valid? It certainly isn’t, in fact, it’s just another way of permitting failure. There are numerous families who decided to pursue a dream together. Blaming family is a very cute excuse because you’re saying it’s OK to fail because a family has taken your choices away. It’s a way of absolving yourself from the responsibility of taking action so permission to fail is granted. A way to stop this excuse is to realize that as other families achieve dreams together, then so can yours. And the rewards will be shared by the whole family.

Each of the above have their roots in fear. But you don’t overcome fear by giving yourself permission to fail. Why not give yourself permission to succeed instead?

Copyright 2006 Christopher Green

About The Author

Chris Green is the author of the new book “Conquering Fear”, the acclaimed book that shows you how to turn fear, your worst enemy, into your most powerful ally. For a FREE preview, please go to => http://www.conqueringfear.net.

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Types Of Self-Defeating Communication

2006-04-14T01:00:00.002-07:00

by: Patrick Porter

If there was a law against people verbally abusing themselves, it would be a safe bet that most Americans would now be in jail. The things we say to ourselves both silently and out loud are amazing! And we say these things to ourselves almost constantly. For example, how many times have you found yourself making derogatory remarks about how you reacted to a situation you have just experienced? We tend to judge and invalidate our actions when they are out of sync with our beliefs about what is right and wrong or good and bad.

If you are like the average person in our society, I suspect that you make such self-deprecating statements all too frequently. Likewise, I strongly suspect that the frequency with which you verbally abuse yourself about goals detracts significantly from your results.

I have good reason for both suspicions. First, it is common knowledge that people talk to themselves when involved with certain tasks. Salespeople talk to themselves before meeting a client, lawyers talk to themselves about judges and jurors and musicians talk to themselves about the requirements of a piece they will play. Butcher, baker, or candlestick maker — it makes no difference. All people talk to themselves.

There are two types of self-defeating statements that people are prone to make. First, there are negative self-statements; that is, statements that deprecate your own self-worth and abilities. Second, there are self-pressure statements; that is, statements that bring greater pressure on you than the situation demands.

When you make either self-pressuring statements or negative self-statements, several things can happen, most of which are bad. Negative self-statements frequently become what we call self-fulfilling prophecies. This simply means that because we expect negative reactions from ourselves, based on the negative things we’ve said about ourselves, we are likely to behave accordingly. This is because we begin to think obsessively about how bad we are rather than think about what we need to do in order to properly execute.

Fortunately, simply by being aware of these types of self-defeating statements, you can work to develop a positive approach to your self-talk, and overcome this negative cycle.

About The Author

Dr. Patrick Porter is an entrepreneur, award-winning author, and motivational speaker. His electrifying keynote speeches and seminars deliver the real life, nuts ‘n bolts concepts he used to take his business venture to astounding heights. http://www.patrickkporter.com.

Meditation to Relieve Stress

2006-04-14T01:00:00.001-07:00

by: Anna Dorbyk

The Connection between Mind and Body

The ancient practice of meditation has long been known as a way to heal the mind and body. In times of mental or physical stress, human beings have turned to the powers of meditation to quiet the mind and repair the body. There is a strong connection between the mind and the body, and when one is in pain, the other suffers also. Meditation can help establish a balance. Research has shown that meditation can have a beneficial impact on the health of an individual, and these positive effects are not limited to the body. When practiced regularly, it can greatly contribute to the health and well-being of not only the body but also the mind.

In today’s fast-paced world, the use of meditation to relieve stress is common. In fact, as the practice of meditation gains in popularity, an increasing number of people from the jet-setting executive to the weary housewife are incorporating the exercise into their lives. In addition to using meditation to relieve stress, people practice it to combat the many concerns affecting the mind, and there is solid physiological evidence to support its success in doing so. With the regular exercise of meditation, you may experience some of the following positive effects: a decrease in anxiety, depression, irritability and moodiness, an increase in happiness and emotional stability, feelings of rejuvenation and vitality, and greater creativity. Many people have also reported a significant improvement in their ability to learn new things and retain information. You may find that with continued practice, meditation greatly improves your mental state and contributes to a profound sense of spirituality. The spiritual person often sees the world in a uniquely positive way and is well-equipped to handle life’s challenges.

Though meditation is commonly known for its positive relation to a person’s mind and spirituality, the practice can also have beneficial physical effects. Most likely, the first effect you will notice after repeated practice of meditation is an improvement in your flexibility which keeps your body responsive and functioning. There are other equally significant changes to your physical self that you might notice such as the following: improved air flow to the lungs making it easier to breath, a decreased level in blood pressure, lowered levels of cortisol and lactate (two chemicals associated with stress), a lower heart rate, reduction of free radicals which can cause tissue damage, and a drop in cholesterol. The regular practice of meditation can also slow down the aging process - especially noticeable in the elderly who often report major changes in their vitality.

Stress relief is not the only benefit you will experience with consistent practice of meditation. Meditation also has a profound effect on the mind and body by creating a balance that better prepares you to handle challenging situations. Meditation is easily exercised and requires little preparation or knowledge. To benefit your overall physical and mental health, take some time out for meditation and feel the power of a strong mind/body connection.

About The Author

Anna Dorbyk is a writer for Tune Yourself DVD (www.tuneyourself.com) a site about meditation benefits and techniques.

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The Solution WITHIN

2006-04-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

by: Ference Kish

It's quite amazing how many people go through their lives with very little thought as to where they are heading with it.

There is an accepted lifecycle assigned to everyone and most of us seem to just fall into it and 'live' it out as if there was no alternative.

There are some truly disturbing statistics about people's lives, most of it relates to their financial status at retirement time but I won't scare you with that, you can research it by yourself if you have not heard it all before. But what is even more disturbing is the quality and 'purposeless-ness' of their lives which is difficult to measure or put into statistics, yet is all around us.

I don't want to point fingers at anyone, all you have to do is look around and you'll see what I mean. I often look at people with drug and alcohol problems or even history of selfharm, suicide. I think it is getting worse and I just couldn't help myself from wondering why that is.

I don't claim to know all the reasons for it or be an expert in this field, however, I have a keen eye and lived enough, both in years and experience, to have found some of the common reasons why that is and what some of the solutions might be to this problem.

But the way I see it, one of the biggest problems is this lack of purpose people find in their lives. The other is the lack of time or, for one reason or another, commitment to finding out about it.

It is not easy to stop and look at one's life and it is even more difficult to face up to the reasons why someone's life may have no purpose or is 'in a mess'. The lack of unbiased, friendly and in some cases anonymous help make this even more difficult. I haven't done any research (yet) on how good free, anonymous phone-in help lines are. But I would not be surprised if they were very, very busy. I say this because of a personal experience I had as a young university student.

I had some problems in my life and thought there was no one I could talk to. So, after some struggle within myself I decided to drop in at the university's own counseling service. I'd explained that I had some problems I really needed to discuss with someone. They started asking my name, address, what course I was attending etc, etc, etc. Two minutes into this 'conversation' I thought to myself "hang on, I don't want to be a statistic, I just need someone to talk to... now." It was hard enough to come up with the courage and come to a complete stranger and own up that I do have a problem that I don't think I can solve on my own and need some else's help, let alone being quizzed about things which should not really matter, not just now anyway.

So, I promptly turned around and left without saying much. I don't think they'd kept my record, need to keep the paperwork down, you know... Anyway, I got myself an ice cream, two scoops just to be on the safe side and had a loooong walk in the city churning over thoughts after thoughts in my head. It was one of the worst and best days of my life. The worst because I realized I was only a number at the university and I did not get the help I needed so very much and I also realised I did not have anyone close enough to talk to about my problems. And the best because in the long walk I'd allowed myself some 'time-out'. Allowed myself to stop and think about what was happening to me, why I was having the problems I was so desperately seeking solution to and why I felt so alone. I'd found time enough to clear my head and find the solution from within... I can't remember what route I took, where I ended up walking to. But I can clearly remember every thought I had on that day and this was more than 20 years ago...

Since then I've learnt to rely more on my own abilities and realised that all solutions have to come from within. You are the only person who knows everything about yourself and this makes you the only person qualified to find the right solution for your problems. Sometimes it seems easier to try and find someone to help you, in a sense put the responsibility on them. But to be as blunt as I can, you are the only person to whom your problems matters the most. It is good and you should discuss things with others, use as them as sounding boards, source for inspiration and encouragement but at the end of the day you have to solve your problems from within. You have to look at your life and find a direction and purpose for it.

About The Author

Ference Kish is self-help author and an inspirational speaker. He now lives in New Zealand, enjoys life and helping others to live their lives to the fullest. You can contact Ference at ference_kish@yahoo.co.nz or you can visit his site http://www.SelfUnleashed.com.

www.Neo-Money.com

How to Generate the Courage and Faith to Be Lazy

1990-04-14T01:22:00.000-07:00

by: Kerul Kassel

It's hard to imagine that this could be so, but I'm finding that I have to be ambitious about being "lazy". How amusing! If you're like most of my clients (and myself), you're very used to packing every day full of activities, responsibilities, "stuff". You may take pride and pleasure in the amount of work you're able to accomplish, the number of tasks and projects you can juggle, the sheer number of initiatives you're involved in.

There may come a time, though, when you realize that some of the most important things you'd like to accomplish require the kind of time and focus that dictates some very substantial whittling away at some of what you're involved in. And that can be tough (I know it is for me)! It may well entail letting go of what may feel about as important as what you'd like to incorporate.

For very busy people who like to achieve a lot, there's often a tendency to push ourselves hard toward our goals, to go and go and go until we're at least a bit (if not a lot) frazzled, exhausted, or frustrated. On some goals that we're working toward, we can really load ourselves up with to-do's, spending a lot of time, effort, and sometimes frustration trying to make our goal materialize. We've learned in the past that hard work can pay off, and we wonder why it isn't working with this important one.

With most goals, it's crucial to be very clear about the goal and the strategy you'll use to pursue it. I'm finding, though, that in order to develop that crystal clarity in new and bigger goals, it's paradoxically more important to relax and "do nothing" for a few minutes a day, here and there. I'm finding that I have to schedule in what I would have called "laziness" a couple of years ago. Ironic...

Whether it's taking a walk alone, sitting and doing nothing for ten minutes, lying in bed for an extra 15 minutes, reading a book for pleasure, or petting the dog, it takes a bit of faith and courage that stepping back and doing "nothing" will help you manifest your objectives. For most of us, it's a new paradigm. And I'm finding it works...and quickly!

So how to generate that courage and faith that most of us need to push away from constant activity? Here are some brief ideas:

1.Consider it an experiment and play with the idea.

2. Five or ten minutes is all you need to start with...and maybe all you need on a regular basis. Start small.

3. Don't make it a obligatory drag; you don't need to start by doing it every single day, and you want to make sure it's fun.

4. Have a choice of a few things you can do during those minutes, and pick whatever feels most appealing.

5. Allow yourself to try out the belief that doing "nothing" can be even more productive than constant effort.

I'd love to hear from you with your thoughts about and experiences with this idea, if you'd care to share them with me.

About The Author

"Plagued by the temptation to procrastination? Would you like 2006 to be your year for procrastination renunciation? If you think overcoming procrastination is only about will-power and discipline, think again. Procrastination Expert and Coach Kerul Kassel has worked with hundreds of people on their procrastination challenges and created a quiz as a result: www.newleafsystems.com/one.php, or visit www.stopprocrastinatingnow.com. "